Let me start by saying this, “Dad, you are doing excellent already. You are giving your baby all of your time, attention, and love and your baby knows and can feel that from you.”
Dad, you are getting frustrated with your baby because you can’t understand why the baby is crying. Your baby is trying to tell you something but it doesn’t know how to tell you about it except crying. Take a deep breath or step outside for a minute to clear your mind and then start reading the signs that your baby is giving you. Ready? You CAN do it!
Of course, I’m not going to say that I was able to look handle my frustrations with my baby during those times too. I definitely need the help of my wife to tell me to step outside, she can definitely feel my frustration in the air. Getting proficient enough to control your frustration takes time and practice, I’m working on it right now as much as you should be.
Babies are fragile human beings and they should be treated as much. When people get frustrated, people tend to find an outlet to take their frustration out on, and when you have a baby nearby, that baby can potentially be a target.
So, if you are fustrated right now. Step outside the room, go get a glass of water, freshen up by washing your face, ask your significant other to take over in your place. Believe me, they don’t like to see you fustrated with the baby as much as you or the baby.
Recognize That You Are Getting Frustrated
“The first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one”Will Mcavoy
Like the quote by Will Mcavoy said, recognizing that you had been frustrated with the baby is the first step. Because once you recognize your frustration then you can start to fix it.
I absolutely understand then the heat of the moment, it is not easy at the beginning to recognize your frustrations. But constantly try your best to always be in control of your emotions. If you aren’t in control, then who else is supposed to? Definitely not your baby.
You can take this exercise a step further by determining what triggers you to be frustrated with the baby. Here are some ideas that I have concluded to be my triggers:
- Lack of hours of sleep,
- Poor quality of sleep,
- Bad events that happened during the day,
- Low level of confidence in my parenting skills
- Lack of food which results in low energy levels,
- External stress, and
- Low self-esteem
Now that I know what my triggers are, it makes it a lot easier to be more prepared for when my frustration does happen. With all things in life, change doesn’t happen immediately. If you really want change to happen, you need to have the motivation, drive, and consistency.
How To Deal With That Frustration
I deal with the frustration using the following checklist:
- Does the baby need a diaper change?
- Does your baby want food? (Eg breast milk or formula)
- Does your baby just want to have a hug for comfort?
- Your baby could be missing his/her favourite toy/blanket for comfort.
- The sound level is too high or the room is too dark.
- Maybe your baby is actually feeling too warm or too cold,
- Your baby could actually be sick.
The items in the checklist is just a general list that works for most babies, your baby might have something unique about them. In that case, you will need to find that out.
For additional creative ideas that are outside of the checklist above, think of all of the things that would make you not able to sleep? As an exercise, list them out and see if there is something else that I missed.
If you want to try to implement some self-care into your routine to level out your frustration, you can check out my self-care blog post here.
When Trying To Deal With The Frustration Yourself Doesn’t Work
When you have tried all that you can to deal with your own fustration with your baby. It’s time for you to seek out a medical professional’s help.
For some of you dad’s out there, I understand that it is hard for you to convince yourself to seek outside help. You think that if you seek help, you will look “weak” or “helpless”. Or you feel like you look less “masculine”.
Guess what, that is a load of crap. You would ACTUALLY be weaker if you didn’t seek any medical professional help because you wouldn’t know what the proper next steps are to resolving your fustration issue.
Are there better ways to deal with your frustration with yoir baby? Let me know in the comments.